It has been quite sometime since I last wrote a love letter for someone outside my family. I am naturally sweet
and cheesy and I felt encouraged to write about this topic when some of my readers sent me emails as they share their love stories, success, and even their heart breaks. I haven’t met most of you but I felt that we’ve became friends through this blog. Even though there are times when I write silly entries – minsan evident ang kababawan at may halong kalokohan yung iba, you are still there to read as you encourage me to continue writing. So to my brokenhearted friends out there (o kahit hindi), this is my love letter for all of you.
The year 2013 started out right for me and it continues to amaze me with surprises along the way. As I look back at the past years, I never thought that I would take this path and would reach this far. I thought that I have everything organized and scheduled at my fingertips – finish college, get a job, and get married. I thought it will just be like that until God made me realized that He has better plans for me – that my timetable is not His timetable, and His plans for me far outweighed my plans for myself. My prayer is to be the best wife and mother that I can be and God is not yet done molding me and preparing me for that.
I am the type of person to whom my friends would run to for advice whenever they are brokenhearted. I will listen to them and sometimes cry with them. I always tell them to cry for a while and then eventually detach from the feelings of sadness and longingness – they should not let the situation get the most out of them, rather, let the situation bring out the best of them.
My advice to them was put to a test few years ago when I ended up my long relationship with a good and decent man. He was good to me in the many years that we’re together but somehow along the way, we realized that we have different priorities and timetables. We realized that we were not meant for each other so both of us chose to part ways amicably and live our own lives accordingly. That was the time when I myself experienced being heartbroken for the first time (and hopefully, the last). I felt the pain for the first time (aguy!) and I prayed that God would take away the pain and use it to make me become a better person.
I channeled all my energy into my work. I worked like an energizer bunny (keeps you going and going). Aside from my regular work, I also went to the graduate school to study. I started becoming a resource speaker in Regional and National conferences. I even enrolled myself to Tae-bo classes to somehow neutralize my being workaholic that time. I tried to look at the brighter side of life and embrace positive vibes than drenching myself in misery and negativity. Somehow my being workaholic paid off as I was promoted and given my own office after months of hardwork. That was also the same time when I was able to detach myself from the pain. I became happily single but not too excited to mingle. I started to receive presents and invitations to date. I know the intention was good but I politely decline. These guys are fine gentlemen and I will just waste their time and disservice them if I will date while being in my moving on stage. I never want to be in a rebound relationship because being in that kind of relationship would just cause insecurities and unhappiness in the long run.
Being single made me align different aspects of my life. That was also the time when I let go of the control and gave it to God as I say, “Father, be the Captain of my life and please do write my love story. You know me better and I know myself and You want only the best for me. My heart is Yours until You decide to give it to the man whom you have been preparing for me.” That was a liberating moment!
Being single, my dear friends, is a true gift. It is the best time for us to prepare ourselves to achieve our full potential. It is the time when we could understand the kind of person that we are and the kind of person that we want to become.
It is important to evaluate and align these things while being single so you would really know what you want and what you need. Believe me, if you do these things and set your standards while you are in a relationship, you will not be objective because your senses will be clouded by emotions – you will end up molding your standards based on the qualities of the other person. This is quite detrimental because he/she might not be the person that would complement you and who would be compatible to be with you in the long run.
The time when I know deep down inside that I have fully moved on, that was the time when I started entering the world of dating once again. My family and friends were all happy when they learned about my decision to date again as they chant: “Finally, after sooooo loooong a time…”
This time, I am a lot wiser. I go on friendly dates where I could get to know the other person better – outside romance. “Date widely. In that way you will not be in a premature relationship” that’s what my parents advised me. Unlike before, I realized that friendly dates are better because you will get to know the other person and you can give the other person the chance to get to know you without having a façade of putting the best foot forward. You would know when you are compatible for each other to go on the next stage – if not, you could remain friends without hurting each other.
Always bear in mind that someday, we all have our own stories to tell – to our children and children’s children. We are now in the process of drafting that wonderful story so we need to do it wisely. We want our future listeners to be inspired after hearing our stories rather than be discouraged and disappointed of our wrong choices. At the end of the day, it still boils down on the decisions that we made and how we chose to live our respective lives.
Will you aim for the best or settle for mediocrity? You choose!